I am the chimp of the perverse

Hello. This is Benjamin Hale, author of THE EVOLUTION OF BRUNO LITTLEMORE, and this is officially my first post on my blog. Despite being born fairly late in the twentieth century, I am unlike most members of my generation in that technology is voodoo to me. I know the basics, of course, but essentially my technological “real age” is about ninety-seven. It’s true!—somehow, I have cherished memories of playing Jacks and listening to Gershwin on the radio. But seriously: I write longhand with a pen and paper, and you wouldn’t catch me dead with an e-reader. While other kids were playing Doom and making web pages back in the mid-90s, I was studiously preparing myself for the fourteenth century, learning calligraphy and fencing. I didn’t have a cell phone until 2006. I buy CDs. There’s no way in hell I’m ever going to Tweet anything. I’m a proud luddite; my personal view of technology is on the Blakean “dark Satanic mills” side of things. So asking me to blog—as I recently was—is, albeit flattering, a bit like asking a vegan to try on a pair of bacon pants.
“I think you’d look really good in these!”
“O-kay… if you say so…”
(Examines herself in the dressing mirror of this Meat Couture outlet.)
“Damn, girl!” exclaims the vegan’s friend. “Makes me want to eat you up!” (The vegan’s friend is a feral dog.)
It’s pretty much exactly like that. But now that I’ve been doing it for a paragraph and a digressive vignette, I’ve found that I really like blogging. What fun it is to hop on the early twenty-first century narcissism bus! Here we go, world!
All future posts will be in some way related to my book. I promise.